I just realized last night that between feeling guilty for unloading on someone too often, not wanting to bother people, & not feeling entirely comfortable with people, I've backed myself into a corner & now have no one to talk to.
And I would much rather be crying on someone's shoulder than into my pillow.
And no one reads this damn thing . . . so I feel like I'm talking to myself & you know, the one time I vented here, some stranger found my blog & was very sweet, but now I'm kinda sensitive to the publicity of this.
I'm having a bad weekend.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
Priceless
I think it was Dennis Leary who said that one day, everyone saw a president get shot on television one day & ever since they've been afraid to change the channel.
My mother watches people's court. I don't particularly care for it, but every now & then, I look up from whatever I'm doing when it gets a bit rambunctious.
I now know why my mother watches so religiously. Sometimes you get a little nugget of gold insanity. But you have to watch. And while she watches, I sit in the background & get to pay attention when the judge starts yelling. I just saw the BEST episode of people's court EVER!!!!
One guy comes in & is unbelievably insulting to the judge, the court itself, the legality of the whole situation, & everyone in the room. He constantly interrupted & had serious anger issues. He was a mess. And the judge had him escorted from the courtroom before the end.
For the next case this guy walks in with a bright red shirt, suspenders, a beer belly, white hair, a white beard, & glasses. Simultaneously, my mother & I cheered, "Santa Clause!!" And he turned around & he's got his documents in a folder that's in the back of his suspenders. And about 3 minutes into the the case he goes, "By the way, judge, I think you're hot."
God save the lunatics. Consistent entertainment during the writer's strike.
My mother watches people's court. I don't particularly care for it, but every now & then, I look up from whatever I'm doing when it gets a bit rambunctious.
I now know why my mother watches so religiously. Sometimes you get a little nugget of gold insanity. But you have to watch. And while she watches, I sit in the background & get to pay attention when the judge starts yelling. I just saw the BEST episode of people's court EVER!!!!
One guy comes in & is unbelievably insulting to the judge, the court itself, the legality of the whole situation, & everyone in the room. He constantly interrupted & had serious anger issues. He was a mess. And the judge had him escorted from the courtroom before the end.
For the next case this guy walks in with a bright red shirt, suspenders, a beer belly, white hair, a white beard, & glasses. Simultaneously, my mother & I cheered, "Santa Clause!!" And he turned around & he's got his documents in a folder that's in the back of his suspenders. And about 3 minutes into the the case he goes, "By the way, judge, I think you're hot."
God save the lunatics. Consistent entertainment during the writer's strike.
Delays & Such
So, school was opened an hour late today.
I sat outside my 8am class with about ten other people. Until about 8:02. Someone got the info & announced it to the hallway.
Then at about NOON, I got an email that said, Towson University is opening at 9am today.
Way to wait until it's completely irrelevant, guys.
And I don't live on campus, so I didn't witness this amusing event, but apparently around 6am, yelling & cursing pervaded the rooms & hallways of the dorm buildings because all of a sudden, text messaging was somehow disabled. Oh my God. I live in a world where communications, society, & civility break down when TEXT MESSAGES are disabled.
Apparently, it was quite the event.
I sat outside my 8am class with about ten other people. Until about 8:02. Someone got the info & announced it to the hallway.
Then at about NOON, I got an email that said, Towson University is opening at 9am today.
Way to wait until it's completely irrelevant, guys.
And I don't live on campus, so I didn't witness this amusing event, but apparently around 6am, yelling & cursing pervaded the rooms & hallways of the dorm buildings because all of a sudden, text messaging was somehow disabled. Oh my God. I live in a world where communications, society, & civility break down when TEXT MESSAGES are disabled.
Apparently, it was quite the event.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Lecture
Oh man. Performing & public speaking are two ENTIRELY different creatures. One difference (among many) that I discovered today was that performing is my home, & nerves do not attack at home, while public . . . . ahem, excuse me . . . . "public" speaking makes me nervous as hell.
An old teacher of mine asked me to come back to my high school & speak to the seniors about college. So I did. Four times, I gave a 40 minute speech. And once in front of a very disrespectful audience. I now sympathize deeply with teachers who stop speaking & give students such a hard time for chatting. I specifically built the speech to be 40 minutes & could not afford to play the "I'll wait . . . ." game. Besides, I didn't want to. It was supposed to be, "I'm close to you, I'm on your side - I'm gonna tell you YOUR version of college truth." So I let it slide . . .
The teacher was THRILLED & couldn't thank me enough. So that's good enough for me.
Tomorrow, I'm getting up at 5 to get in the car & go to NYC!!!! Of course, it's 11:30 right now . . . . so . . . ummmm . . . g'night. :)
An old teacher of mine asked me to come back to my high school & speak to the seniors about college. So I did. Four times, I gave a 40 minute speech. And once in front of a very disrespectful audience. I now sympathize deeply with teachers who stop speaking & give students such a hard time for chatting. I specifically built the speech to be 40 minutes & could not afford to play the "I'll wait . . . ." game. Besides, I didn't want to. It was supposed to be, "I'm close to you, I'm on your side - I'm gonna tell you YOUR version of college truth." So I let it slide . . .
The teacher was THRILLED & couldn't thank me enough. So that's good enough for me.
Tomorrow, I'm getting up at 5 to get in the car & go to NYC!!!! Of course, it's 11:30 right now . . . . so . . . ummmm . . . g'night. :)
Monday, January 21, 2008
Let the Boredom Cease
Every single person who went back to school one or two weeks ago has looked at me with bright green eyes & labeled me lucky. I can't wait to get back to school & a big issue for me has been that I've nothing to do. I have been sitting about, some days never dressing, playing games, reading, TRYING to write (but with life so empty, nothing fuels imagination or inspiration), & talking to the animals. My bird now knows more about how my mind works than I do. But in the blink of an eye, it changes.
This is the last week. Traditionally, one that will drag. But I have combated that tradition. This weekend, I had a friend come over for a few days. She drove over from Ocean City, so she crashed here. We went to the mall where I spent far too much money because Suncoast is closing . . . & how I LOVE Suncoast. They've been so good to me . . . I bought "Wolf", the Saw trilogy, & a season of Carnivale for my mother . . . I'm not too fond of it, but she loves it.
Sunday evening, I had a level two reiki attunement. I was level one for a long time, but I cannot reiki remotely in level one, so I did some studying & my mother gave me an attunement (she is a reiki master) so I could send reiki to a friend of mine who is having surgery on Wednesday.
Today I went out to lunch with my father, which was ok . . . & he & Maggie came back to play on the Wii. Maggie was thrilled at her (fixed) wins, & my father endlessly frustrated with his losses because there was no holding back when he had the wiimote.
Tomorrow is an empty day . . . I had something planned, but it got moved.
Wednesday, I have my last driving lesson & & from 1 to 3 I'll be sending reiki - which should be a new & interesting experience.
Thursday, I'm meeting with an old teacher of mine to have coffee & catch up.
Friday, I'll be giving a lectures to all the senior classes about college . . . the content of which Mrs. X & I will go over on Thursday.
Saturday or Sunday, I don't know which yet, I'll be headed up to NYC to get the rest of my driving hours. We'll spend the day & see a show. Monday I go back to school. Classes until . . . 7 I think. Tuesday, no classes, but I'm going to take my drivers test. And from there, school until summer. And that's a different story.
This is the last week. Traditionally, one that will drag. But I have combated that tradition. This weekend, I had a friend come over for a few days. She drove over from Ocean City, so she crashed here. We went to the mall where I spent far too much money because Suncoast is closing . . . & how I LOVE Suncoast. They've been so good to me . . . I bought "Wolf", the Saw trilogy, & a season of Carnivale for my mother . . . I'm not too fond of it, but she loves it.
Sunday evening, I had a level two reiki attunement. I was level one for a long time, but I cannot reiki remotely in level one, so I did some studying & my mother gave me an attunement (she is a reiki master) so I could send reiki to a friend of mine who is having surgery on Wednesday.
Today I went out to lunch with my father, which was ok . . . & he & Maggie came back to play on the Wii. Maggie was thrilled at her (fixed) wins, & my father endlessly frustrated with his losses because there was no holding back when he had the wiimote.
Tomorrow is an empty day . . . I had something planned, but it got moved.
Wednesday, I have my last driving lesson & & from 1 to 3 I'll be sending reiki - which should be a new & interesting experience.
Thursday, I'm meeting with an old teacher of mine to have coffee & catch up.
Friday, I'll be giving a lectures to all the senior classes about college . . . the content of which Mrs. X & I will go over on Thursday.
Saturday or Sunday, I don't know which yet, I'll be headed up to NYC to get the rest of my driving hours. We'll spend the day & see a show. Monday I go back to school. Classes until . . . 7 I think. Tuesday, no classes, but I'm going to take my drivers test. And from there, school until summer. And that's a different story.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Somewhere in the Night
Recently, my sleep has been laced with the most bizarre dreams . . . all of them making me curious, some of them leaving me emotionally flustered for no apparent reason & most of them going on while I am aware that I am dreaming.
I've played dead while a rabid raccoon snuggled up to me & eventually decided to grab it, throw it, & run in the other direction.
I've spoken to a fawn who asked me for one of the several roses I was carrying & when I gave it to her, she ate it.
I've tried desperately to deliver a package to someone across a sandstorm with waves of sand crashing on me, leaving me with a mouthful of sand to spit out every time.
I've been urged by cast members of a show to shoot one of the stage hands because no one liked her & found that my gun was filled with wet sand when I finally had my chance.
I've begged a guy I like to play monopoly with me, but he won't because he is busy drawing naked women.
I've been on some journey with several friends, but I don't know where to because I'm in such pain from an awful headache caused by a large cyst in my ear.
I've been recruited to act in a show & don't know the lines, but assure everyone that I can memorize them very quickly, but they'll have to wait for me to wake up.
I've been on a tour around some campus with a group of friends, but get separated & have to wait in an office next to car prototypes until I'm found.
Several in a night. It's starting to draw my attention . . . & the scenarios above are each their own dream over the past few nights . . . & those are just the ones I remember. I can remember that there are more . . . And that there is more to the actions of every dream - they're not as short as the simple descriptions above . . . & another thing that has come to my attention is that in all of the dreams, I'm surrounded by people - usually friends & am singled out. The raccoon comes to me, the fawn will speak to no one else, I had a group with me for moral support to deliver the package, but I was the one tasked with the delivery. Being singled out doesn't seem odd . . . it would be obvious to have me as the main character of my dreams, but I'm usually alone. Fighting aliens, trying to get out of some confined space . . . alone with the villain . . . but my friends are never there . . . how odd. The volume of the dreams is also concerning. How many dreams can you have in one night? Jeez.
Hey, guys, it's snowing!
I've played dead while a rabid raccoon snuggled up to me & eventually decided to grab it, throw it, & run in the other direction.
I've spoken to a fawn who asked me for one of the several roses I was carrying & when I gave it to her, she ate it.
I've tried desperately to deliver a package to someone across a sandstorm with waves of sand crashing on me, leaving me with a mouthful of sand to spit out every time.
I've been urged by cast members of a show to shoot one of the stage hands because no one liked her & found that my gun was filled with wet sand when I finally had my chance.
I've begged a guy I like to play monopoly with me, but he won't because he is busy drawing naked women.
I've been on some journey with several friends, but I don't know where to because I'm in such pain from an awful headache caused by a large cyst in my ear.
I've been recruited to act in a show & don't know the lines, but assure everyone that I can memorize them very quickly, but they'll have to wait for me to wake up.
I've been on a tour around some campus with a group of friends, but get separated & have to wait in an office next to car prototypes until I'm found.
Several in a night. It's starting to draw my attention . . . & the scenarios above are each their own dream over the past few nights . . . & those are just the ones I remember. I can remember that there are more . . . And that there is more to the actions of every dream - they're not as short as the simple descriptions above . . . & another thing that has come to my attention is that in all of the dreams, I'm surrounded by people - usually friends & am singled out. The raccoon comes to me, the fawn will speak to no one else, I had a group with me for moral support to deliver the package, but I was the one tasked with the delivery. Being singled out doesn't seem odd . . . it would be obvious to have me as the main character of my dreams, but I'm usually alone. Fighting aliens, trying to get out of some confined space . . . alone with the villain . . . but my friends are never there . . . how odd. The volume of the dreams is also concerning. How many dreams can you have in one night? Jeez.
Hey, guys, it's snowing!
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