Monday, March 2, 2009

Penis Compensation

Hummers. Nope. I don't get 'em. Especially now. Here, I live in the city, but I want a badass vehicle that has no place on city streets that spends all my money on gas & all my time on parallel parking. If you wanna be badass in the city in this state of the economy, get a damn motorcycle. They even have an included bonus of being sexy . . . unlike the obnoxious, unnecessary eyesore that is the original Hummer that looks like a child's toy.

Irene & I walked out of the house the other day & some guy was parking his Hummer. His bright yellow Hummer. First we laughed, then we shook our heads, then Irene tried to let him see her look of disgust, but he was too absorbed in his cell phone conversation & posing for the world with one hand resting lazily on the steering wheel & the other up to his ear.

Yesterday, I was driving home after dropping off Dal & guess who was pulled over on Loch Raven & dealing with *two* cops? The sinus-clearing yellow hummer.

And I don't know the guy & have no information about him other than his choice in vehicle & possibly, given the circumstances, the ballpark size of his penis, & yet I still felt some level of genuine satisfaction to see him pulled over. The next time I had a chance I texted Irene with the news. She laughed.

We're horrible, judgemental people. But nowadays I don't think anyone will notice.

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